It’s the 21^st century and for those who don’t date a lot, a question always comes up which is: “who should pay on the first date?”

In this post, I’ll show you the most definitive, rational answer.

Keep in mind this post’s advice is for the first date only. Dynamics change as the relationship develops.

You Guys Should Split The Bill

This is the most obvious and reasonable thing to do. But why?

At the end of the day, I don’t think splitting the bill should be a gender-dynamics issue. Splitting the bill isn’t about the man being cheap, or empowering the women. All these things are silly and add color to a situation that’s just black and white.

The main reason why the bill should be split on the first date is because it’s fair. Duh.

But there’s a lot more subtle reasons, which I’ll go over below.

It Sets The Right Precedence

The first date is a “first impression,” and first impressions matter.

As such, should one party pay on the first date, it sets the precedence that you’ll spoil the other party. Your treating them to a meal should always be treated as a bonus, not a given.

Conditioning the other party to have the expectation that they should always be spoiled is a recipe for entitlement, ungratefulness, and a bad relationship.

Instead, should both parties just split the bill, it sets the precedence that you and your potential partner are equals. And going forward, there’s no expectation of one person treating the other.

If on a 3^rd or 4^th date, one person treats the other, then that’s a bonus and should be met with gratitude. Compare a 4^th date where one person finally treats the other vs. all 4 dates where one person unilaterally pays for the meal. Which seems like a more genuine gesture? I’d argue for the former.

To Pay Half On The First Date Also Saves Money

I hope this is obvious, but when you split the bill in half, your expense for the meal is halved.

There’s a lot of money psychology that goes into when the guy or the girl starts picking up the check. At the end of the day, you shouldn’t assume the other person is rich and can afford to just treat you. Chances are, if you’re reading this blog, you’re probably richer than the other person. Conversely, the other person might be reading this blog longer than you have and so it wouldn’t even be a big deal for them to pay their half of the bill.

Thus, neither party should insist on paying the bill in full, and both party should work together to split the bill. Every relationship needs teamwork, so make your first “teamwork” activity be splitting the restaurant bill.

This saves a lot of money, especially if you do a lot of first dates.

Well, kind of. The actual best way to save money is to eat in.

In fact, the best way to avoid this whole issue is to do this creative first date idea:

• Just have them grab half the groceries while you grab the other half. Then, just cook together at your place. You sidestep the issue and save a ton of money by not eating out. There’s some obvious non-financial benefits to this method as well but I’ll let you those benefits out.

Market Differentiation

In the 21^st century, people like dating around a lot. As such, you need to differentiate yourself. This is how splitting the bill helps:

• If you’re a guy and you split the bill, you are automatically differentiating yourself from all the other chumps that prostate themselves by insisting to pay the bill. Women want a man that has a sense of independence, not a servant. Nothing signals you’re a servant more than your insistence to pay their expenses.
• If you’re a woman and insist on splitting the bill, you’re automatically differentiating yourself from all the other hos that try and “take advantage” of the guy by letting them pay the bill. Smart men want strong women, not a financial burden.

Who Should Pay On A First Date

I think the most obvious solution is the right one here: just split the bill.

Historically this issue has been divided by either: male should always pay, or women are super independent and can take charge to pay as well!

We’re well into 21^st century, and I’d like to think my readers have moved past the shallow issues of “a man should treat a woman right” or “a women can open their own doors.”

The reason why you should split the bill isn’t because of some social or political pressure. The reason why you should split the bill is

1. Because it’s fair, and
2. So you can set the correct precedence for your relationship, in case it develops beyond the first date.

Oh yeah, and you also save money.

If the first date works out and you and your potential partner develop a real relationship, there’s potentially a lifetime for you to treat and spoil the other person anyway. And it won’t be under the precedence of being obligated to treat them. Instead, it’ll be under the air of being kind and genuinely wanting the other person to be happy.